


Communication Is Key

by sofacat16



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Tumblr Post, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Bullying, Friendship, How Do I Tag, I Tried, I don't know what I'm doing, Jeremy Has Self-Esteem Issues, M/M, Miscommunication, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, in which jeremy never gets the squip and has serious self worth issues, so michael makes his move but jeremy rejects him because he thinks he doesn't deserve him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-02-14 03:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12998922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofacat16/pseuds/sofacat16
Summary: “So,” Michael said after they’d been driving for a couple minutes, reggae music softly playing from the speakers. “Rough day?”Jeremy groaned. “You have no idea. Let’s just go home and kill some zombies, and I’ll tell you about what happened with Rich in the bathroom.”Michael glanced over at him with raised eyebrows, and Jeremy blushed. “Not- not like that, you shit. It was… weird.”au where Jeremy doesn't get the Squip and doesn't have a huge crush on Christine





	1. Chapter 1

Jeremy knew he was a loser, and that he’d always be one. Of course, he could dream about being cooler, but it was such a distant dream, it was one that just didn’t seem like it would ever happen. It was just a wishful idea that got him through one torturous day after another, days of struggling through tests and trying to avoid Rich, his tormenter since the end of freshman year. 

Speaking of Rich, he’d been harsher than usual today. From the moment when Jeremy got to school, Rich had kicked him in the balls, written the word ‘Boyf’ on his backpack, shoved him into a locker before lunch, yelled ‘GAY’ when Jeremy had signed up for the school play (prompting everyone to laugh at him as he tripped away from the sign up sheet), then beat him up after 4th period because he’d ran into Jake by accident for the second time. Usually he did maybe two of those things per day. So when Rich cornered him in the bathroom, repeating something about a grey… quick… thing from Japan, Jeremy was terrified and confused, trembling as Rich seemed to tower over him, despite being a foot shorter. As soon as Rich released Jeremy’s shirt collar and apologized then started to say something about Payless, he ran out of the bathroom clutching his bag, and didn’t stop until he got to Michael’s PT Cruiser where his best friend was waiting, holding another slushie. Michael took one look at Jeremy’s tired, scared face and gestured to the car. Jeremy clambered in as Michael hopped in the driver’s seat, and they drove off.

“So,” Michael said after they’d been driving for a couple minutes, reggae music softly playing from the speakers. “Rough day?”

Jeremy groaned. “You have no idea. Let’s just go home and kill some zombies, and I’ll tell you about what happened with Rich in the bathroom.”

Michael glanced over at him with raised eyebrows, and Jeremy blushed. “Not- not like that, you shit. It was… weird.” 

\--

“... so then he started talking about Payless, and I bolted.” 

“And you think he’s scamming you? Because I do,” Michael said, jerking his controller to the side. 

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know why he’d think I’d fall for that. He was even more of a dick than usual today,” Jeremy said, then yelped. "Watch out!” 

“Oh!” Michael grunted, and the two boys fell back into the motion of the game.

“Gah!”

“What-” 

“Ugh...” 

GAME OVER flashed across the screen. Jeremy groaned in defeat, then flopped sideways so his head was in Michael’s lap, looking up at Michael himself. 

“Thank god I have you, you know? I don’t think I’d survive this hell at all without you.”

'It’s not like I deserve you, but I’m so, so glad I have you now at least, that you haven’t figured out you can do better than me and left me already.' 

“Aw,” Michael said. He had a peculiar look on his face, but Jeremy couldn’t tell what it was. “I’ve always got your back buddy. We got each other’s backs.”

“You know, you’re my favorite person, right?” Jeremy said, smiling and reaching up absently to touch Michael’s face. His face looked redder than usual, but maybe that was just the lighting. It still looked nice. Michael’s face always looked nice. 

Michael didn’t respond for a second. 

“Micah?” Jeremy said, sitting up. At the same time, Michael said something in a rush.

“Doyouwanttogooutwithme?”

“What?”

“What?” Michael said, looking away. 

“No, Michael, tell me what you were saying,” Jeremy said, thoughts pouring through his mind as he spoke. 

'He’s gonna leave me, he doesn’t want this anymore, he’s done with putting up with me-'

Michael cut off his thought train by leaning forward- 

His lips met Jeremy’s and-

Jeremy froze, cheeks flushing. What. 

'What what what shit shit shit shit shit why would he like you he’s messing with you, he’s not kissing you this isn’t real you don’t deserve this why would this be happening' 

With no reaction from Jeremy, the other teen pulled away. 

“Shit- Jer- shit, I’m sorry-”

Jeremy put a hand up. “C-can you… um… finish what you were saying before?”

Michael stared at his lap. “I really like you Jer. In a more than friend way, but you got that, didn’t you, I mean, that was obviously…”

He trailed off and looked up at the curly haired boy in front of him, face still a hot red. “D-do you want to go out with me?”

Silence. Awkward, empty silence that took up the space of a moment but felt like an eternity. 

“Jeremy?”

“Why?” 

Michael looked up, confusion written across his face. Jeremy felt his own face heating up, even more than before. His eyes pricked with tears. He got up and his body felt weirdly unattached as he started to pace the room. 

“Why do you like me, of all people? I don’t- I don’t get it.”

“Jeremy I don’t understand-” Michael leaned forward, reaching for him. 

“Is this a joke?” Jeremy stopped pacing, turned to face Michael.

“No I really do-” 

“Because there’s no way someone as perfect as you-” he began moving again, as Michael stood to reach for him again, touching his shoulder. Jeremy shrugged his hand off and started to back away from Michael, who followed him, trying to voice his concern, confusion, trying to say anything. 

“Jer, what-” 

“-could like someone like me, I’m so-”

“Wait-”

“I’m so terrible-” 

“Wait, stop-”

“I don’t deserve-” 

“Jeremy-”

“GET OUT,” Jeremy yelled, shoving the taller boy away from him as his back hit the wall. The words, and the gesture, hung in the air as tears dribbled down both of the boys’ faces. Jeremy could feel the immediate guilt twisting his gut as Michael’s stunned face shifted to hurt, and he lowered his arms as Michael turned grabbing his backpack with ‘Reinds’ written on it, stomping toward the door and down the hall. Jeremy stayed stock still as the sounds of Michael’s car pealing out of the driveway filled his ears, then he crumpled to the floor, sobs ripping from his throat, hands flying up to muffle the noises as he sat, regret and fear and sadness washing through him. 

'What have I done.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeremy misses michael. rich is a dick because of his squip. hello christine!

When Jeremy walked into school the next day, he automatically scanned the terrifying crowd of teens for the familiar red hoodie. He caught a flash of scarlet, and almost ran up to the person, until he realized it was Jake Dillinger’s red sweatshirt. He turned the other way quickly, averting his eyes as he weaved through students toward his locker. 

Where was Michael? As Jeremy slammed his locker shut, he continued to sift through the crowd with his eyes, looking for white headphones, a pride patch, a grey backpack with the stupid Reinds still on it. Nothing. 

The day passed with no sign of Michael. No texts, no calls, no actual physical Michael. Jeremy sat alone at lunch. 

“Hey, dork. Where’s your boyfriend? Did he kill himself to get away from you?”

Jeremy flinched. Rich was speaking right in his ear. He probably should have seen this coming, as Rich hadn’t done anything today- until now. He wished Michael was here. 

‘You really need him, don’t you? Pathetic.’ 

“Can you hear me, nerd?” Rich raised his voice. Jeremy’s body tensed, and he stood to walk away from Rich. He felt a hand grabbing at his shoulder.

“It’s rude to walk away from me. I’m trying to have a conversation.”

Jeremy kept walking, his vision slightly blurry. What? Oh yeah, that was from the tears starting to fill his eyes. What did Rich have against him, anyway? Why couldn’t he just leave him alone? Swiping at his eyes, he continued to try to walk away from Rich, who pursued, slinging his arm over Jeremy’s shoulder. He tried to shove it off, but he could barely see because of the tears threatening to spill, and-

“Ow!”

Rich pulled away and Jeremy looked around. In front of him was Christine Canigula on her knees, her lunch tray and its contents spilled across the ground in front of her. 

“Oh- oh my god, I’m so s-sorry,” Jeremy stammered, moving forward. Rich was gone, and Jeremy didn’t care why. “A-are you okay?”

He knelt to the ground to help her up. She looked up with an incredibly sunny grin for someone who had just been knocked over.  
“Yeah, I’m fine! Honestly, I don’t even know why I said ow,” Christine said, brushing her short dark hair out of her face as she got to her feet. “I guess it was just instinct or something? Which is funny, because you would think instinct- well, when you think about instinct, you think flight or fight, right? Anyway, it’s funny, because I just immediately said ow without thinking, so I guess it was instinct, or…”

She paused. Jeremy watched her with wide eyes, his mind still working as fast as it could to process all the words that had spilled out of Christine’s mouth in the space of one breath. 

“Sorry, where was I?” she said, blinking, then shrugged. “Anyway, hi, I’m Christine. And you’re Jeremy right?” 

Jeremy nodded mutely. 

“Hey, where’s your friend? Or is he your boyfriend? Sorry- just, Jenna told me you two were dating, but your face suggests otherwise- is he sick, or something?”

Jeremy could feel his cheeks heating in embarrassment. “We’re n-not dating. He’s my best friend, and I-I don’t know where he is.”

‘Is he your best friend anymore, though? Well, he was your only friend, but-’

Christine’s expression dropped exaggeratedly into sadness from her bright smile. “It’s too bad you don’t know. Sorry, again-”

Her next few words were drowned out by the bell signifying the end of lunch. The two turned to look at the clock. 

“Oh! Time for class! Well, you knew that already, right? Sorry, that was dumb. Anyway, it was nice to meet you, Jeremy!” 

Christine picked up her lunch tray and skipped off, leaving Jeremy with a confused expression and frustrated tears at the lack of Michael pricking at his eyes again. He took out his phone and sent another text. 

\---

The rain pouring from the grey skies streamed down the bus window that Jeremy was leaning against. He sighed as the noise of high schoolers stuck in a school bus around him grew increasingly loud, and pulled his phone from his pocket to check his messages. Still nothing. He clicked on Michael’s contact to call him for the fifth time that day. The phone rang 4 times before Michael's familiar, missed voice rang out:

“Hey, this is Michael. Michael Mell. ummmm…”

A giggle came through the receiver, Jeremy’s giggle from two years ago when this was recorded. 

“Y-you have to say, like, leave a message or something, dumbass.” 

“Shush,” Michael laughed, and continued. “Leave a message or something, dumbass- there, happy?”

Jeremy smiled at the memory, of that afternoon when Michael got his new phone, but saddened. God, he had ruined their friendship, hadn’t he? And any chance at a relationship was definitely gone, had disappeared with yesterday’s time. Was it even worth it going to Michael’s house this afternoon?

‘No. he probably doesn’t want to see you again, because he hates you.’

He sighed, and spoke into the phone: “Hey, Michael, it’s me. Jeremy. Again. Are you okay? I’m really sorry about yesterday. Call me back? Bye.”

The bus rattled on through the rain, and Jeremy’s mind prattled on about Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, i don't know where i'm going with this (as per usual) so be prepared for random plot twists
> 
> comment or something if you liked this crappy chapter because those things give me life


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeremy goes to talk to michael, but surprise he's not there

Jeremy stood in front of the door, knuckles brushing waveringly over the wood. He took a shaky breath and tapped his fist lightly on the door. 

No answer. 

‘Of course there’s no answer, idiot, he probably couldn’t hear you.’

He knocked again, louder this time, with no response. He was freezing, dammit, because of the icy rain, but he knew if he didn’t do this now then he’d back down and his friendship with Michael would have no chance.

‘I mean, it doesn’t really have a chance now, does it? And it’s your fault. You messed this up.’ 

Jeremy knocked again, and again, until finally the door flew open and Jeremy pulled his fist back just in time to avoid hitting one of Michael’s moms, Irene, in the face. 

“Jeremy? What-”

“I’m s-sorry-” he started, but she interrupted. 

“Geez, Jeremy, come inside before you catch a cold. You’re soaked.” 

“Um-” 

He was ushered inside, his dripping sweater discarded to the laundry, and was wrapped in a warm blanket and placed in front the heater before he could say a word. When his teeth finally stopped chattering (and stammering out a plethora of thanks to the woman), he immediately asked: “I-is Michael home?”

There was a pause. 

“I thought he was with you.”

“W-what?” Jeremy asked in a small voice. 

“Yeah, he said he was spending the night at your place last night, that he wouldn’t be home ‘til late this afternoon.”

Jeremy felt the tears coming with the rising heat in his face. “He w-was- he wasn’t at my h-house last n-night- I didn’t s-see him at school today…”

Irene paled as much as Jeremy. “So no one’s seen him since last night?”

Jeremy shook his head. “I’m s-sorry-”

“It’s not your fault,” Irene said, patting him on the shoulder. “I’m- I’m going to go call the police.”

She walked off to grab her phone, leaving Jeremy on the couch, trembling with tears falling. 

“...no, I haven’t, officer, but his friend might have- Jeremy? Did you call Michael today?” Irene walked into the room 5 minutes later, phone pressed to her ear, knuckles white from gripping it tightly.

Jeremy leapt to his feet. “Y-yeah… I tried, I texted him too, b-but he didn’t answer-”

“Thanks, Jer- no, officer, we weren’t able to make contact with him…” Irene drifted out of the room. 

Jeremy sat back down on the couch, shoulders slumping. He pulled out his phone again, clicking on Michael’s contact again. Four rings, and it went to voicemail. Jeremy hung up, and put his face in his hands. Oh look, his cheeks were wet and hot from tears again. 

\---

Michael’s phone had died a long time ago, even before his car ran out of gas. So now, here he was, waking up at 2:34 in the afternoon (according to his watch) in the back of his car after driving for- how long had he been driving? How long had he been sleeping? Where even was he? 

He pushed his glasses up on his face, where they had fallen half-off, and sat up. The grey light hit his eyes and he groaned, shoving his glasses up to rub at his eyes. Water trickled down the windows, pounding on the roof. He groaned again. He was stuck here for now, because he wasn’t about to walk out there in the rain. He’d just wait until stopped. Now, what was he going to do while he waited? He laid back on the seat and stared at the ceiling. There were several footprints up there, probably made by him or Jeremy. God, Jeremy. He probably hated him now. That was one of the thoughts running through Michael’s head when he made the stupid, impulsive decision to drive for hours to the middle of nowhere and pass out for longer than he’d been driving. He couldn’t do anything now, but how could he even talk to Jeremy after last night? "Hey, I just asked you out and confessed to my crush on you, and you rejected me by yelling self-deprecating things and shoving me, but that’s all in the past now, wanna play Mario Kart?"

“Yeah, that’d go great,” he mumbled aloud. “Not awkward at all.” 

The rain pattered on the roof, and Michael kept staring at the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my multi-chapter fics but every time i write a new chapter it's shorter and takes longer to write as i lose inspiration and try to prolong the angst
> 
> comments are the highlights of my life, so tell me if you like this


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys work it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha sorry this took so long and yet is still so short and crappy

Michael stood on the side of the road. The rain had stopped around 6:00, after an hour and a half of excruciating boredom staying trapped in the car. He would get a tow truck for said car, or some gas or something and come back, but it was dark, and he didn’t remember how far from anywhere he was. So there he was, sticking out his thumb like a dumbass, because as a high schooler hitchhiking he’d probably get murdered or something, but at this point he didn’t care. 

The next truck that drove by splashed mud on him, and he stumbled back, cursing. 

“Fuck!” 

He stood dripping, blinking mud out of his eyes, and swearing some more. He felt a drop on his head, and looked up to see more rain coming down. 

“Shit shit shit-” he turned to run back to his car, but headlights were coming up the road again, so he gritted his teeth and spun back to wave his arms wildly at the car. It screeched to a halt nest to him and the doors opened and the next thing Michael knew, someone was flying out of the car and screaming his name and tackling him to the mud in a hug so bony and full of flying limbs and love and familiarity that it could only be-   
“Jeremy?” 

Jeremy looked up at Michael, hair damp from the rain. 

“Why- what-where were you?!” he demanded. 

“I- I drove out here last night, and I guess I passed out or something, and my car was out of gas- and I-”

“Why didn’t you call us? And did you sleep for the whole day or something?” Jeremy asked incredulously. He started to shiver, and Michael pulled him toward the car. 

In the warmth of the car, with Irene at the wheel and listening intently, a stern yet relieved expression on her face, Michael explained the rather boring story of what had happened. 

When they got back to Michael’s house, Michael went upstairs and took a shower, after which he headed down into his room, in which Jeremy was sitting on his bed. He was dreading having this conversation, but he needed to have it. He walked over, pulling his hoodie over the “move i’m gay” t-shirt he was wearing, and sat down next to Jeremy. 

Jeremy was wearing a sweater from Michael’s closet- black, with the word Creeps on it written in green. It was too big for him, and Michael could already feel his face heating up because that boy was just too cute, confusing feelings and yelling aside.

Jeremy looked up. “Sorry.”

“What?” 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’m sorry I rejected you and started yelling, I just- I d-didn’t think- I didn’t think that things would actually happen where- I didn’t think life would actually work out in my favor, where my crush actually likes me- I just can’t see why you would like me, and I was just having such a crappy day that I thought it was another joke, and I’m sorry-”

“Jer.” Michael stopped him. “You don’t need to be sorry for having horrible self-worth issues. Sure, that situation could have been handled better by both of us, but I pushed it, and-”

It was Jeremy’s turn to silence Michael, but this time, it was with a kiss, as he grabbed Michael’s face and smashed their lips together. Michael’s eyes widened, then closed as he melted into the kiss, bringing his hands to Jeremy’s hips and turning his head to fit to Jeremy’s lips. 

He pulled away after another second. “So, uh… will you go out with me?”

Jeremy grinned. “Yes, you idiot.”

“I’m the idiot? You’re the one who rejected this hot piece of ass.” 

Jeremy swatted his arm. “Shut up.”

“Shut me up, then.”

“Fine-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end

**Author's Note:**

> so again, i've started something with no inspiration past the first chapter
> 
> this was based off a post i saw once that i'm pretty sure was meant to be a michael angst thing but i like jeremy angst better so here we are 
> 
> comments are food for the soul so tell me if you like this and want me to continue it


End file.
